i love God!

today i had my first mammogram. i found a lump a few weeks ago...and one thing led to another. so today, i found myself spending most of my day at the lemmen-holton cancer pavillion downtown.

i should back up. when i first found it...i thought, i'll keep an eye on it...hoping it would just go away maybe :) when my sister-in-law's sister called me about dawson's rash, because her son had a rash....and what does it look like, etc....we somehow came upon the subject of lumps, breasts and mammograms....i know, makes perfect sense...anyhooooooo....she sternly said, "you need to call your doctor, and get that checked out. so, i did.

so....i wanted to share some cool things about how COOL God is...

1. i found a lump. girlfriend calls - whom i totally admire - and gives me the nudge i need to get it checked out. (thanks, shel :))

2. mary anne (the best midwife in the world) sees me...wants me to see a "certain" doctor. however, this "certain" doctor cant see me for another month. so we set up an appt. with her #2 choice...another mary anne :) (turns out the "certain" doctor may not have the best bedside manner...funny, but i knew as soon as i couldn't get in with dr. poor bedside manner, that was God saying it would be best to go with dr. mary anne)

3. doug is going to be home the day of my appointment (he is able get kids on the bus...and it turns out, off the bus, too...because i was gone ALL day for the testing)

4. i am amazingly calm...i have my bible study group praying for me...and a few good friends & family too

4 1/2. two of my aunts, whom i e-mailed, sent me messages about their experience with their lumps...and told me they would be praying for me today, too...(thanks, aunties :))

5. this morning, i simply prayed that i would feel His presence all day long...that He would just be with me...and the results would be good. then, i wanted to take a verse with me...i open the Bible, and this is what i turned to: "So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10...awesome!

6. as i'm backing out of the garage, i'm really wishing i could find the praise & worship cd that kirk had burned for me a long time ago...i haven't been able to find it for months...i tore the house up looking for it just this past sunday...i looked in the van,too...anyway, i pull out a cd case to look ONE more time...i unzip it, and the cd FALLS INTO MY LAP. i smiled. God knew how VERY frustrated i was when i couldn't find it sunday...but if i had found it...i wouldn't have that awesome reminder of his love...i love music, and they were exactly the songs i needed to hear today :)

7. as i am walking into this building (which is phenomenal, by the way) i think, "how in the world am i going to find where i gotta go?"...this girls sees my confused expression...i explain...a worker says, i'm going there too, just follow me.

8. every person i come in contact with is incredible. seriously.

9. as i'm getting the mammogram, i notice the walls. they are my very favorite color in the whole wide world. pale aqua-blue. (i've posted about this color before...the color of my bedroom when i was a baby...its everywhere in my house...it reminds me of all things happy & calm)

10. as i'm sitting in the room with a nurse going over needle-biopsy procedure, my mary anne calls - while i'm in the doctors office (seriously, so not normal, i wish you could have seen the expression on the nurses & secretaries face)...she wants to make sure i'm ok, that i'm not feeling rushed or uneasy, and if i have any questions...she is the most amazing woman...she loves her job, and loves her "girls" as she affectionately calls us :)

11. they were able to do the biopsy today, too...which wasn't the original plan...but somehow the radiologist just "happened" to have an opening at 1:45....

12. small side note: i have been praying ultra-hard about what direction God wants me to take...especially regarding career, and maybe going back to school...in case you didn't know, i originally went to GVSU for nursing, but didn't get in the program....i actually prayed that God would give me the right nurse to talk to ...and if i felt led, i would question her about her job,etc. well, holy cow, he gave me a couple awesome nurses...one who had a daughter the same age as me...this nurse went back to school when her youngest was in kindergarten (hmmm...) and she was scared to death, but she made it, and couldn't be happier. we had a really long conversation. (i'm thinking maybe God isn't listening to the part when i say, "God, i'll do whatever you want me to do, as long as i don't have to go back to school")

i'm sure i could think of more things, but i just smile when i think of these few things....God let me know that He was with me all day long. no, i dont have the results yet, but i'm not scared. i know there is a reason for everything...and i may not always choose His ways, i know i never walk alone...so thanks, God, for all those little reminders, the people you put in my path at just the right time...You are awesome.